Should You Become A Zombie Owner?

It has become a matter of stark concern and huge debate across the nation as to whether or not it is safe to own zombies.

On the one hand zombies have elicited fears in various communities from evidence of frenetic behavior in the wild that would imply recklessness, a relentless prey-drive that leads to one-track minds of killing and a rudimentary pack mentality once stirred to a frenzy.

On the other there is the belief that these exhibitions are similar to reactions of any number of pack animals in the wild, such as wolves, and with proper training and care zombies can become domesticated as the next generation of family pet.

Though both views may have some validity, there has been no conclusive scientific evidence to support either case. One thing, however, is very clear: zombies can carry the viral infection of Necro-mortosis and improper or careless handling of these zombies will be fatal to the handler.

If you are considering becoming a zombie owner, keep in mind two words always: responsible ownership.

With media hysteria looming, responsible owners find themselves endlessly having to defend their right to own zombies. Every indicting headline damages even further any headway made toward the positive domestication of zombies. Yet irresponsible and ignorant owners have done almost as much to damage zombies’ reputations as have their fearful neighbors.

The golden rule of zombie ownership – never trust your zombie to not attack.

As with wild zombies, the domestic zombie has some negative traits in their temperament that should be regarded as a breed fault. What can you expect from a domesticated zombie? You should never fully let your guard down with a domesticated zombie, as given the right circumstances most zombies will attack out of predisposition. You have to be extra vigilant in your ownership, be able to read body language, recognize tension flare-ups and recognize when your zombie may become hostile toward you or someone else.

Here are some known temperament issues with domestic zombies:

• Domestic zombies are always aggressive to one extent or another. They should never be left unrestrained and require constant and proper supervision.
• Domestic zombies may exhibit intense “prey drive”, leading them to “stalk” weaker subjects such as children, the mentally handicapped and the elderly.
• Domestic zombies are precocious and incomparable escape artists, who will often seem to squirt right out of a supposedly secure enclosure. This, however, is often accompanied by loss of flesh and or limbs as the one-track mind factor at this stage is escape and/or pursuit.
• Zombies tend to love to eat people. All people. This makes them a poor choice for a “guardian breed”. It is unknown why they lust for mainly human flesh, but a few studies have suggested that raw meat of any kind will be devoured willingly.

If you are convinced that raising domesticated zombies is for you, heed these temperaments. It could save your life or the life of your family or neighbor should you become a zombie owner.