There are bad zombies everywhere. There are bad people trying to be good. Then there’s Zombieland, where people are trying to stay alive.
A young man named Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) has a habit of running from what scares him. His buddy, a crude man named Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) fears nothing. Doesn’t matter though; not many people are alive. In a world overcome by the undead, these two guys are you one of a kind pair of evolved survivors. But now, they’re about to look down the barrel of the gun toward the most terrifying prospect of all: each other. (more…)
WASHINGTON (AP) The controversial company that brought you Zom-Mbalm, the popular formaldehyde-based injection for prolonging the lifespan of your zombie, has developed a new product that simulates real zombie behavior when taken orally. And they have packaged it as, what some critics are condemning as outrageous and misleading, chewing gum. Anti-zombie activists are also claiming the chewing gum packaging targets children and promotes careless, misguided behavior among youths. (more…)
When your dearly departed leaves it in a will that zombie domestication is not an option, you will have no choice but to remove the zombie head. But now you don’t have to incinerate it.
Choose a Fashionable Zombie Head Casket! (more…)
What makes zombie domestication possible? After world-wide containment of the zombie plague scientists in the global community developed a psychotronic collar that emits non-aural, low frequency, microwave impulses to a zombie’s brain, disrupting its hunger for human flesh. The result is a domicile zombie easily domesticated for use in everyday homes. (more…)
A Top 25 Zombie Christmas is a collection of every zombie’s favorite Christmas songs. From ‘Silent Night Deadly Night’ to ‘Jingle Skulls’, this classic compilation joins the memories of Christmas past with the hopes of undead Christmas’ to come for the hundreds of living dead orphans of the world. 100% of the proceeds go to helping the lost children of the damned. Celebrate this holiday and the valuable time spent with the walking dead and friends by bringing the joyless sounds of a traditional zombie Christmas into your home. (more…)
“Tofu” is a friendly zombie, created from a botched experiment in Professor Vost’s laboratory. Monkey # 5, one of Vost’s lab animals, stuffed a block of tofu into the zombie boy’s open skull after accidentally losing the brain. As a result, “Tofu” eats only vegetables and grains and has no taste for human meat. However, if “Tofu” ever loses his “tofu-brain”, he turns into a dangerous zombie creature, craving human flesh. (more…)
Now You Can Prolong The Lifespan of Your Zombie
Tired of getting your zombie well trained just before the final stage of decomposition? Well now you can add years to your zombie’s lifespan with a practice that’s been applied for decades!
Embalming! (more…)
WASHINGTON (AP) At a local neighborhood residence pounds of frozen raw meat and bones sealed in Ziploc® bags spill out of a nearby garage. Among the massacre is pork and beef and whole quail, lamb, chicken, goat, turkey, rabbit, buffalo, you name it. (more…)
